Before the birth of my first son, Aiden, my mother told me of a book called, “The Red Tent.” I poured myself into that, connecting with part of my womanly ancestors and my body in a way I had never done before. That book led me to another book called, "Hypnobirthing" that prepared me for labor. During this same time period I began my 200 hour hatha yoga training.

 

My son Aiden was born on the 17th of February 2020 in San Diego, California. His name means little fire, and that he is to this day.

 

After having Aiden, I was birthed into a new chapter of my life – motherhood. This is not something anyone ever prepared me for. I was 23.

 

I found my way into motherhood and what that meant for me through attending parent groups at the yoga studio I trained at, through reclaiming my birth story at a Red Tent event in the garden of that same yoga studio, through teaching a “mommy’s tummy time’” class which combined yoga and pilates focusing on the mother’s core to regain connection.

 

I was mesmerized by the beauty of my "suns" face. And so I began to paint again, painting images of his soft pale skin on the canvas.

 

My first year of motherhood was bliss. I would spend the day in our garden under the banana tree and fig trees, bamboo adjacent, bare feet, practicing yoga, going for walks, painting, reading, cooking.

 

There were some turbulent times that followed. My painting took me to graduate art school in San Francisco, California. I was plunged into graduate art school as a young mother. For me, these didn’t go hand in hand, and for many others in the program it didn’t exactly sync. I found myself exploring who I was as an individual, as a woman and using the medium of art and performance to perform my interpretation of my world, my womanly labels, and what it meant to be human for me at the time. Shadows emerged as well as reflections. All so important, but my presence was more attended to this space, and less to being a mother.

 

I made my way back into motherhood, putting it as a priority as well as my health, post graduate school, teaching yoga again and taking time in nature. I moved into art curation and working with artists, along with a practice I developed called a “moving meditation,” which I performed with other performers and artists in galleries and in nature.

 

In 2017, I became pregnant with my second son. Some fears arose around expectations for my upcoming birth and choosing to have a homebirth. I was led to a Shaman in San Francisco who guided me in meeting my birth guide. Being in the sanctity of my own home, surrounded by powerful women -- my doula, my midwife, and my mother -- candles, music, Aiden and my husband and my mother and my dog, I fell into a deeply hypnotic state. Birth is something profoundly spiritual, and I was reminded of this potent magic. Towards those last moments before Wolfe (my second son) emerged from inside of me and out into this world, I hit a wall, and spoke the words, "I can't" to my husband. As I said this, my doula reminded me to call in my birth guide. As I did, my birth guide was able to pull me out of my body and for that one millisecond I was gifted an aerial perspective of my situation which illuminated my power that I could cross this wall. It would just need a bit of my strength and then it would be transformed. This is what our guides can do for us. We just need to be reminded sometimes. 

This is the work I do. Connecting women to their inner wisdom, to their womb space, to a deeper, more loving and trusting connection with their beautiful and perfect bodies. I help guide women in clearing wounds before sacred conception, in guiding women during their pregnancy and preparing mentally, physically and spiritually for birth, in guiding women back into their body post birth and in emerging into this new phase of life -- motherhood.

I am here to help guide you in tapping into the most loving and powerful and present mother you can and will become. This has been my journey, and all that I know. This is what I am here to channel and to help illuminate for you. 

I am not perfect. I am messy. I am an artist. Maybe you are too. Our journey's will be different but I hope I can guide you into realizing that you are your own healer. That your children will become your most powerful spiritual teachers. It just takes patience, deep listening and firm and loving presence. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. But our most important work.