Being guided by our children :

how we can let go of the limits we set to reconnect to the child inside 

by Nathalie Brilliant

Dec. 8th, 2020

 

Children are spiritual beings. They have travelled from the universe and chosen us as parents[1]. They are deeply connected to the spiritual space, the imaginative space and the unknown space. And so, they are messengers, guides, for us if we can tap into seeing them in this way. 

 

So many parents these days stand by their children declaring, “this is the way it’s done and that’s that.” Where is the creativity in this? And why is this necessarily so? Isn’t civilization a place we created, with our own rules and practices that are deemed “right and wrong.” Adults can adult too much. Maybe our children are here to remind us of our own child within, the playful, creative, explorative, curious being of light that we all once were.... until our own parents, teachers, leaders told us otherwise and pulled that spirit out of us.

 

I have done a lot of deeper inquiry into myself. Why I am wounded in certain areas and have adapted to certain patterns. When I travel back in meditation often led by a loving spiritual guide, I often find a voice that is not mine — a voice of fear, of anger —that has been instilled in me from someone else, from an adult who couldn’t see the beauty and joy and exploration in what I was doing and thinking at the time. I was led into a dead end and that way of thinking stuck with me until I realized that’s not who I want to be through this deeper healing work.

 

I am a mother of two boys. At the moment, I am allowing my 2.5 year old, Wolfe, to lead me. This is a practice incorporated in RIE parenting. However, it can move along as the children grow — to observe, to allow the children to lead you in play. And play is everywhere — from walking to the car, to taking a bath, to brushing teeth, to dropping an older brother off at school — everything is new and fresh. 

 

Sometimes there really is no time for play, and I just have to let Wolfe know this. And then when there is, why push otherwise? If my plans for the day are to go to the store and Wolfe wants to play longer in the woods, why push this? We now live in an age where there are millions of possibilities from purchasing options online. Why drag your child to a store when they want to immerse themselves in nature, in slowness? Why must we push these precious and sacred times for our children? Their time to explore, discover and play in the world. Through play, they learn. Maybe there is something they can show us. And usually there is. When I am rushing and want “to do” something, Wolfe feels this energy. I feel he deliberately wants to slow me down in some ways to remind me of this Buddhist approach, that “there really is not much that we need to do.” We can let go of attaching ourselves to the so many “dos” of life and find the beauty and magic in just BEING with our children. When they play and we want to go, and then all of a sudden we let go of that need, we can find presence, breath, calmness and land on a tree with a sparkling light we would have missed previously. This is the magic to life. This is what is taught in meditation and yoga, and this is what our children are trying to wake us up to. They are our spiritual teachers. It’s just a matter of whether we can let go a little, of our egos, of our own adult ways and tap into the beautiful experience of being a child again. 

 

 

[1] Information attained from the book, “Unbornness : Human Pre-Existence and the Journey Toward Birth,” by Peter Salg. Rudolf Steiner also speaks heavily about this within his writings